Discovering Christianity
My Faith: Tim Madeley
Tim Madeley
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Open the door, let Jesus return
Derby University Law student Tim Madeley
said his life changed when he ‘opened the door’ to God again and returned
to church after five years absence. Here we share extracts
from an interview with Tim by the Diocese of Derby’s
Mission Adviser, the Rev’d Lakshmi Jeffreys.
LJ: What brought you back into the Church?
TM: My mum’s always gone to church and I was baptised
when I was little. I went to church and attended Sunday school,
but when I was about 14 for some reason I stopped going. It
was after I’d been confirmed that I thought this wasn’t
for me. I don’t know why. I stopped going for about five
years. I still went at Christmas and Easter and then I stopped
doing that as well. But during my absence from church I felt
that I was missing out on something.
One year I’d had a pretty tough summer with relationships,
work and other things. During this difficult time I thought ‘I
need to get back to God and find my faith again’. I can
tell you the exact day: it was Wednesday morning after the
August Bank Holiday. I called my brother, who’s a Vicar,
and spent a couple of hours chatting to him. He was very excited
because he’d been praying for me. I found out that my
mum and my step-dad had been praying for me as well. So I took
that as confirmation that I really needed to do this.
And when I went back to church, I can’t really explain
it, but there was something there. I felt I’d got that ‘something’ back,
but I’m not able to put a label on the ‘something’.
LJ: Had you done an Alpha course before?
TM: I started the youth Alpha course
at All Saints, in W Yorkshire where I live. I only went to
four or five sessions. After I’d
got these feelings about wanting to return to faith, I talked
with Chris Hodder, the University Chaplain, who suggested the
Alpha course at the University, so I went along to that.
LJ: Did you ask lots of questions or was it a time when you
listened?
TM: During the talks I listened. In
the discussion groups at the start I was a bit nervous. I
didn’t know what
people would think of my views. But once we got to know each
other I suddenly needed to ask more, to learn more. I particularly
started questioning and thinking about the Bible. I thought
something like that is not going to survive two thousand years
and not be true.
LJ: Does your law training help?
TM: I guess it does because Law students have to read a lot
of case work and be very critical of it. I think it has changed
my views on the world and how I see things; that was reflected
in the way I approached the Alpha course.
[One night at Alpha] Liz Rawlings from
St Alkmund’s
Church mentioned the painting by Holman Hunt of Jesus knocking
on the door and there is the handle on the inside. When she
said that, I thought, ‘I can open that door’. I
was opening the door to Jesus again and I felt a warm feeling
inside. It was so powerful it made me stop doubting any more.
Liz used another analogy of a roller
coaster where you’re
strapped in and held tight, and you know Jesus is with you
on life’s ups and downs. Thinking back, over the time
I wasn’t at church he has been there for me. I’ve
just not seen it, and I’ve kept that door closed, which
I regret now.
LJ: So what’s changed? TM: It’s quite hard to answer that. I didn’t give
a thought to faith a few months ago, but now it’s a large
part of my life. I try to pray every night and read my Bible.
I’ve got worship on CD and listen to that and it’s
really helped me.
A lot of people have noticed I’ve been smiling more.
My friends are not Christians, so they don’t know I’ve
been on the Alpha course, and for them to notice a difference
in me is amazing. Something must have happened inside.
LJ: We’ve talked about Alpha
and meeting Chris [Hodder] regularly. What about going to
Church?
TM: I haven’t been to church much because I work on
Sundays. But at Christmas [I went] back to my old church, which
I hadn’t stepped in for about three years. I was a bit
nervous! It was my favourite midnight service. The warmth I
felt from people was incredible. The fact that everybody came
and asked me how I was made me think how loving the Christian
family is. When we started singing the first carol ‘O
come all ye faithful’, I knew this is what I wanted to
follow. It cemented my decision.
Since Christmas I haven’t found a church in Derby but
I’ve got a place at law school in Leeds, so I’ll
go back to All Saints when I get home.
LJ: It sounds as if you’ve come
home, perhaps like the prodigal son?
TM: Yeah, I guess that’s true, particularly when I walked
back into All Saints. Deep down I know there is that Christian
bond between everybody and it’s something I’ve
missed out on.
Going to church when I was little was just a way of life.
Coming back to faith has given me the opportunity to question
everything. That made me realise more of what the Christian
faith is about and it is what I want for my life.
LJ: Would you encourage others to come back to Church?
TM: Without a doubt! Particularly the
Alpha course as it starts with the very basics, but there
is the opportunity to delve
deep if you want to. Also, if it wasn’t for Chris at
the University I wouldn’t be where I am today. Having
that one-to-one support has been crucial. So I’d say
talk to a vicar at your local church, go on the Alpha course,
because the rewards at the end of it are so fascinating. Now
I can appreciate that Jesus really is there all the time. Through
those times when I wasn’t at church he was still there
for me, even though I refused him.
There is more to life than the day
to day things that we see around us. I feel more fulfilled
and I know that there’s
somebody there for me. If you’ve got any problem, Jesus
will always be there to listen to you, and he’ll always
love you, no matter what. I had closed the door on him, but
now that I’ve opened it again there’s no looking
back.
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